Feh

16 Oct

I “ran” my second half-marathon today. I had hoped to chop 45 seconds/km off my previous time, but didn’t get anywhere close to that.

It’s a strange place to be emotionally. I understand that committing the time and effort to train and then slogging through the race even when it hurts, is a big deal, and I’m happy I’ve done it, but I haven’t come to terms with being mediocre at this. I’m just embarrassed and I have no idea how to change my mindset.

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2 Responses to “Feh”

  1. seabeegirl 17-October-2011 at 21:59 #

    Don’t be so hard on yourself, Sarah- it was only your second race. I do know how you feel, though. I used to run cross-country, track and 10k road races when I was younger and I always felt like if I wasn’t doing very well, maybe I should find something else to do. The perfectionist in me, I guess. My grandpa always told me, though, that just because we don’t do as well as we want, we should still stick with something, that it was good for our character to do so. Maybe so, but it should definitely be something you love doing, too. 🙂

  2. Sarah 18-October-2011 at 08:44 #

    Thanks for your response. I appreciate it. I think the post-run energy crash was doing my head in. Running (or jogging, technically) is something I love and that makes me feel strong and more connected to my community. There’s so much benefit to it. I know it’s worth it, regardless of what the clock says.

    Plus, I did some number crunching last night, and I’m actually well within one standard deviation of the mean times for women overall and in my age category for this past weekend, so I really need to reframe how I look at my race results.

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